Friday, August 24, 2007

Lacy Splinters : Facing You

I had been scrubbing this tub for the last hour.

Before that I had washed the bedsheets.

Before that I did the laundry.

My bathroom is spic and span now.

But as I stopped whatever I was doing, flashback flooded through my mind like a broken dam.

Holographic recordings of MY husband fornicating with another woman. The way he kissed her all over. The way he touched her. The way he made her feel how I felt.

I threw away the brush and grabbed my hair, pulling it till my scalp threatens to tear. Slowly I slide down the wall to sit on the floor.

My whole body hurts now. Not just my stomach in a knot. My skin itches so bad I scratched it till it bled in certain places. My head is pounding like a Taiko drum in a Japanese summer festival. My eyes sees blotches of colors, it no longer desires any focus. My body trembled like I had Parkinson's.

Then there was a brief sound of keys jumbling before the main door creaks open.

He's back.

Oh my god...

Ohmygod
ohmygod
ohmygod...

What do I do? How do I act? He's going to see through me that I am not going to act normal.

Hell.

Why should I even try to act normal?

This was never my fault.

"Hunny?" I heard his call.

"Hunny where are you?" he's entering the bedroom.

I looked up the door and kicked it shut, effectively pushing on the lock button as well.

I need to think.

How to confront him?

How?

......

...


He knocked on the door. "What's wrong, hunny?"

I tried to drown his voice.

I hate that voice.

I'm disgusted.

Help me...

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